Episode 5 - Handcuffs
Dr. Good Vibes contains strong language, adult themes, and depictions of high impact sex and or violence. This podcast is recommended for mature audiences. Listener discretion is advised.
Hal: What's that for?
Spencer: You know, this will go a lot quicker if you stop asking so many questions.
Hal: Um, I think it's perfectly normal for someone to want to know all the relevant information when having something put inside them.
Spencer: I'm not putting anything inside you.
Hal: Uh huh.
And, uh, where is that swab going?
Spencer: In your mouth.
Hal: Thank you.
Spencer: After you read and sign this detailed consent form that clearly outlines the procedure, you want to give it a look over?
Hal: Yes.
How long does it take for this ink to come off my fingers?
Spencer: Baby wipes will get it right off.
Hal: Do you have any?
Spencer: I do not.
Hal: Of course.
Spencer: Let me know if any of the language is too complicated for you.
Do you need a pen?
Hal: No, I'm Yes.
Spencer: Here you go.
Hal: Thanks.
Spencer: Great. Open wide.
Hal: Ah. Ah.
Spencer: Huh. No gag reflex. Interesting.
Hal: Urgh.
Spencer: What?
Hal: You remind me of someone I work with.
Spencer: Please don't flirt with me while I'm collecting samples. It gets really awkward after you're charged.
All done.
Hope you're innocent. Bye!
Hal: Uncanny.
(Door opens)
Callaway: Mr. Kitchener, thanks for waiting.
Hal: No, not a problem, it's only been, wow, okay, three hours. Alright.
Milton: Yeah, took a little time to get everything together. We appreciate your patience. Actual, real life paper files. They actually faxed us some of these.
Callaway: Just like you'd read about.
Hal: So how does this work? You gonna ask me what I'd do if I saw an upside down tortoise in the desert?
Milton: I don't think I'm old enough to get that reference.
Callaway: I am. Uh, cute, but no.
I assume you know what this is actually about?
Hal: You mentioned something. About an anonymous tip.
Milton: We'll get to that.
Callaway: Do you recognize the person in this photograph?
Hal: Yes.
Callaway: Not surprised then. Good. That'll save us some time.
Do you remember what happened to her?
Hal: Yes. She was killed. Murdered. When I was a kid.
Milton: When you were 17. Not exactly a kid.
Hal: Well, that's, -
Callaway: and finally, do you recall the name of the person who was eventually convicted of that murder?
Hal: Yeah, I do. Michael Lockhart.
Wait... someone told you I had something to do with, with this? With... that's crazy!
Milton: It is crazy, right? Couldn't possibly be the case. An anonymous tip out of the blue about a solved, decade and a half old murder case?
Hal: Yeah.
Milton: We get thousands of tips like this every year. So and so did this, whoever did that. The son of Sam was my barber and he masterminded the JFK assassination.
It's literally endless.
Hal: Sure. Yeah.
Milton: But sometimes one comes through like this one we got about six months ago that actually passes the sniff test, just the right mix of elements that it might be credible and they give it to a real investigator to look into. Well, how do they. What kind of elements?
Callaway: Small town, small suspect pool.
Not much national coverage. The kind of long, fruitless investigation to quick arrest to conviction window that tells you the local cops were just thanking their lucky star someone made themselves the obvious suspect so they could put the whole mess to bed.
Milton: The kind of thing nobody's making a true crime podcast about.
Callaway: God, if there's been a podcast about it, forget it. You'll be digging through an avalanche of worthless tips. But you know about that.
Hal: No, not really. My show's more of a call in thing. Oh yeah?
Milton: About what?
Hal: Sex, relationship advice, all that sort of stuff.
Milton: Bondage, sadomasochism?
Hal: Sometimes.
Milton: And would you say that's something you have a particular knowledge of?
Hal: Yeah, I guess. As much as anyone in my line of work.
Milton: Interesting.
Hal: Is it?
Milton: Could be. You some kind of pervert, Kitchener?
Hal: Sorry, what exactly are you trying -
Callaway: Hey, hey, let's not get off track here. Mr Kitchener wants to know what makes for a credible tip, which is simple enough. The biggest thing, or the most obvious at least, is when the tip just straight up gives us a name.
Someone to look into. To see if, for whatever reason at the time, they didn't look to be a suspect. Maybe not even a person of interest. Someone who might have grown. Changed into somebody that maybe should have been looked at a little harder at the time.
Hal: Surely you're not -
Milton: Hal, can I call you Hal? Fine. Hal, what do you know about how Ruby Amal was killed?
Hal: What?
Callaway: Think carefully. What do you remember about how Ruby Amal was murdered? Any details you recall? Anything you heard?
Hal: I don't... there was nothing, there was nothing in the papers, or on TV. Nothing online.
Callaway: Surely you must have heard something. From one of your friends maybe? Gossip around the playground, small town like that, everyone knows everybody's business.
Hal: Nobody told us anything, we were kids.
Milton: You were 17.
Hal: Yeah, a kid.
Milton: If -
Callaway: Do you remember where she was found?
Hal: One of the old houses in the abandoned estate on 15.
Milton: So you heard that much?
Callaway: Have you ever been there? Either before or after she was killed?
Hal: No. They... Tore the whole thing down after what happened.
Milton: Were you questioned at the time?
Hal: No. I didn't know Ruby.
Milton: Michael knew her though.
Hal: Yes. They were friends.
Callaway: We surmised as much. He was questioned at length when she was initially reported missing, but not when she was found.
Hal: Well that was on you lot, if I remember correctly.
Milton: We didn't ask, doctor.
Hal: Oh, so you have heard my show.
Milton: Yeah, it fucking sucks!
Callaway: Enough. Milton, chill out.
Hal: Can you just tell me what this anonymous tip said I did?
Callaway: Sure. I don't see the harm in that.
"Harold Kitchener is a murderer. I believe that he tortured and killed a girl named Ruby Amal in Binghamton, New York and framed Michael Lockhart for her murder. He is a sexual deviant and a violent animal and he should be in jail."
Hal: Is that it?
Callaway: That's it.
Milton: Short and to the point.
Callaway: And like we said, the right level of specificity that we decided was worth at least a little look in.
Hal: Well it's bullshit. It is. I didn't have anything to do with what happened to that girl.
Callaway: We assume that is probably the case. Especially considering someone else was already convicted for her murder. Still.
Hal: Do I need to talk to a lawyer?
Callaway: You can if you want. But that means you'll have to sit here for the rest of the evening while you wait for them to get here. And it's not like you're being detained.
Hal: Are you sure?
Callaway: Yes. For now. Like I said, we don't consider tips like this as gospel. You gave us your DNA sample without making us get a court order. We're just talking.
Hal: So I can leave, whenever I want?
Callaway: Sure. Technically you can walk out the door right now if you want to.
Milton: Jodie.
Callaway: But, if you let us ask you a couple more questions before you do that, it means we won't have to come down to your office looking for you again. At least until the test results come back.
Surely that's worth a few more minutes of your time.
Hal: Yeah, I think I'm gonna go.
Milton: Fuck's sake!
Callaway: That's fine, absolutely your call.
Hal: Great. I am leaving now.
Callaway: Go ahead.
Hal: Alright, bye.
Can you, uh...
Callaway: milton, please help the doctor with the door.
Hal: Right.
Callaway: Oh, Mr. Kitchener, just one last thing.
Hal: Sure, why not?
Callaway: Can you think of anyone who might want to make a false report about you? About your involvement in the murder of Ruby Amal? Sometimes, not always, but sometimes when we get these specific tips, it's personal. Can you think of anyone who might hold a grudge against you like that?
Milton: What are you looking at me for?
Hal: No. I can't think of anyone.
Callaway: Right. Well, thank you for your time.
Hal: Yeah. It's been a pleasure.
Milton: What the hell was that, Jodie? You didn't even ask him about the way she was killed. Show him the fucking crime scene photos. That would have got a reaction out of him, and he would have known if he knew something about it.
Callaway: I'm playing my cards close to my chest, Rick. Every bit of information we give him is something we can't catch him on later.
Don't you think it's better he doesn't know exactly why or how hard we're looking at him? Sure, I get it, but Besides, we didn't have enough to hold him. And if he got his lawyer on the phone, he would have known that. Hell, if his guy's even halfway decent, he would have had him pull a sample on the way out the door, then we'd have nothing.
Milton: Right.
Callaway: Set up an interview with Lockhart. Let forensics do their work. We'll see where we're at. We can always pull him back in when the results come back.
Milton: Fine.
Callaway: Take it easy, Rick. Tomorrow's another day.
(Hals' phone rings)
Hal: Morning, Katie.
Katie: Hey, Hal. Are you on your way into the office? You didn't answer any of my messages.
Hal: Yeah, sorry. I had kind of a rough night.
Katie: Did they arrest you? Were you in jail?
Hal: No, they didn't arrest me. They were telling the truth about just wanting to ask me a couple of questions.
Katie: About what?
Hal: It doesn't matter.
Katie: Sure. Sure. Hey, remember how I completely covered for your ass after you totaled the studio?
Hal: The FBI may have gotten an anonymous tip that I was involved in a murder back in my hometown.
And my guess is that maybe Alana or whomever tried something else before they decided to call up and torture me on air.
Katie: That is wild. Like that is some post breakup revenge to a level I have never heard of before. Did you?
Hal: Katie.
Katie: Sorry. I mean, did you though?
Hal: No!
Katie: Are you sure?
Hal: Yes!
Katie: Yes, you did a murder, or yes, you're sure?
Hal: Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'm sure I didn't do a murder.
Katie: Okay, good.
That is so messed up. What does that have to do with Alana? Was it someone she knew?
Hal: No, not really.
Katie: Who did they say you murdered?
Hal: A girl.
Katie: Did she have a name?
Hal: Yeah.
Katie: Was it Ruby Amal?
Hal: Yes.
Katie: No way. What a guess. Oh, oh my god, then it totally is Alana.
That's why she said she was Ruby Amal when she called in. Wait, you didn't mention that the girl who had a crush on you was murdered.
Hal: It didn't seem immediately relevant to the story.
Katie: Hal, you're kidding. You, it, it is always relevant if a person in a story was later murdered. Do they know that she liked you?
Do they know that she asked you out?
Hal: Yeah, of course. They know everything from back then. It's in the .... Files.
Katie: Hell, Alana must hate you. I'm pretty sure you can go to jail for making a false report to the feds.
Hal: Yeah.
Katie: Especially if it's motivated by spite.
Hal: Yeah.
Katie: You don't think There's no way.
Hal: What?
Katie: You don't think that she really thinks you had something to do with it? That they got the wrong guy?
Hal: What? I don't think I've ever given her a reason to think that.
Katie: Well, that's a super crappy thing to do. You can't just go emailing the FBI unless you're at least pretty sure.
Hal: Apparently it's a web form.
Katie: Convenient.
Hal: Were you, uh, were you calling for any particular reason, or?
Katie: No, just checking in.
Hal: Thanks.
Katie: Hey, uh, do the same for any of my co workers who got frog marched out the door by two FBI agents in the middle of the workday.
Hal: That is not what happened.
Katie: That is what I saw.
Hal: All right, I'm going.
Katie: No, wait, I, there is something I've got to tell you.
Hal: Can it wait?
Katie: Not really.
Hal: Look, I'm, I'm pulling into the car park right now. I will literally be in the studio in a few minutes, okay?
Katie: All right, sure.
Hal: Yeah.
(Elevator music)
Hal: Mm hmm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.
Katie: Hal!
Hal: Jesus Christ, Katie!
Katie: I need to talk to you! Yeah, and we just got off the phone! Yeah, I know, but And I told you I was literally on my way to the studio. Hal! What? Gemma wants to see you.
Hal: Okay. When?
Katie: Like, now.
Hal: Shit. Okay, I'll, uh, I'll head straight up.
Are you Did she want you to come too?
Katie: I mean, I assumed.
Hal: Okay.
Richie: Ms. Gutierrez!
Gemma: Yes?
Richie: Dr. Good Vibes is here.
Gemma: Send him in.
Hal: Hey, Gemma.
Gemma: Hal, thanks for coming.
Katie, what are you doing here?
Katie: Oh, I just thought It's no problem, I don't mind.
Gemma: Yeah, no, I just I have to talk to Hal about something. Can you give us a minute? Are you sure? I really don't mind. Yes,
Katie: I'm sure. Because I can Katie. Okay, sure. I'll just I'll head out. Thanks.
Hal: Sorry about that.
Gemma: It's fine.
Hal: What's, uh, what's going on?
Gemma: Right, well, this is a little awkward.
Hal: Kind of my specialty.
Gemma: Hal, this is serious.
Hal: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Gemma: I heard a rumour that you were escorted out of the studio yesterday by a pair of federal agents.
Hal: Ah.
Gemma: Now you know I don't put much stock in rumours about my on air talent.
Hal: Look, it wasn't -
Gemma: But this morning it became apparent that one of your co workers caught a video of you getting walked through the lobby by the agents in question And posted it to their Instagram with the caption, "That face when your third favorite podcast host gets arrested".
Hal: What? Who?
Gemma: One of the new interns who had apparently not thoroughly read our social media policy, but that doesn't matter now.
They've taken the post down, but the video had already been picked up by the gossip rags and every drama YouTuber worth their salt.
Hal: Shit.
Gemma: Yeah. So I had that to deal with when I got in this morning.
Hal: It's not like I was arrested, Gemma. They got an anonymous tip about some old, solved by the way, case in my hometown, and they just brought me in to ask me a few questions.
It was not anything serious. Hell, I took my own car.
Gemma: What crime? What kind of crime are you being investigated about?
Hal: I'm not being investigated.
Gemma: How?
Hal: Just, just a homicide.
Gemma: A homicide? You murdered someone?
Hal: No, I didn't murder anyone.
Gemma: Well, why are they asking you about a homicide?
Hal: I don't know. But it's a solved homicide. Solved.
Gemma: Do you think that matters? God, this is really bad. Now people are looking into it. How long do you think it'll take for that to come out?
Hal: There's nothing to come out. It's bullshit.
Gemma: Hal, I'm sorry. You're being suspended until this all gets cleared up.
Hal: No, this is crazy. Can't we just release a statement or a tweet or something?
It's not even -
Gemma: Stop.
PR and Legal are working their asses off as it is. So go home, put your feet up.
Hal: But I didn't do anything.
Gemma: Hal, this is coming from higher up than me and I can't change it. I'm just the lucky sap who got to tell you. Go home, Hal. Take a few days off. Maybe get out of town for a bit until the heat dies down.
Are you allowed to leave town?
Hal: I don't know. Probably. They didn't tell me not to.
Gemma: Right, well that's a good sign at least. Take a break. We'll see where we're at next week.
Hal: Gemma.
Gemma: Go home, Hal.
(Hal gets in his car)
Hal: Hey Google,
navigate to 213 Milton Road, Binghamton.
Assistant: Estimated travel time, 3 hours and 54 minutes. You are on the fastest route, despite heavier than usual traffic.
Hal: Hey Google, navigate me to Sullivan Correctional Facility.
Assistant: Rerouting. Estimated travel time, 2 hours and 6 minutes.
Next time.
Royce: Name, please.
Hal: Harold Kitchener.
Royce: Who are you here to see?
Hal: Mick, uh, Michael Lockhart.
Royce: Right. And is he expecting you?
Hal: No . No, I don't think so.
Dr. Good Vibes is a Neon Diner production. Written, produced, and directed by Richard P. Doyle. Editing and sound design by Ramon Samson.
It features the vocal talents of Richard P. Doyle, Rachel Slee, Emily Teede, Alex Gonzalez. Erin Landy, Nat Jensen, Gavin Davis. Full credits can be found in the show notes. Dr. Good Vibes is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So please subscribe to ensure you never miss an episode.
